Oh, how this life is run at such a fast pace.
If we've got a minute, we can turn it into a dollar. If we've got a few dollars, we can turn it into the best and newest thing on the market. There is laundry to wash, dry, fold, and put away. The dishes in the sink are starting to grow something strange on them, so you better give them a scrubbing. There are bills to pay. Supper to make. There's ball practice and dance recitals. There are book clubs and PTA meetings. Business trips and budget meetings. The list can go on and on. I want to encourage you to think about this list for a moment and see where you fit in. What is on the endless list of things that need to be done that are filling your plate like Thanksgiving dinner? But I want to know when was the last time you thought about taking care of yourself? When did you last take a moment to be mindful of your own needs? I know, I know. Some of you out there are probably thinking, "Is this girl crazy?" But hear me out for a few moments.
Though we live in a world that portrays self-image, I think the lack of self-care is what needs to be addressed here. After spending time speaking with others about the chaos that goes on behind the scenes of their, "I'm just fine," smiles, I've come to realize something. We're all guilty of living at such a fast pace that we forget to take care of ourselves. One cannot draw from an empty well, my friends. Believe me, I've tried. I still find myself trying from time to time. But if we aren't mindful of ourselves and our own needs, we might find ourselves falling into that empty well we're trying so hard to draw from.
My Reality Check
The story of my health struggle has been a little over a year in the making. Before I go further, I want to emphasize that there are people in this world who are struggling with worse conditions and health complications than mine. To those people, my heart and prayers go out. But in March of last year, I began to notice some strange numbness in my feet and legs. In June, I woke up one morning and couldn't walk because of the pain and weakness in my legs. In July, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. But the progression was rapid, and I was beginning to develop more symptoms in other areas of my body. Physical therapy proved ineffective. I was referred to several different specialists and in January, Neurology told me that I had developed a form of neuropathy. This neuropathy was different, though. I was told they considered it to be autoimmune. I had always had it in me, but because of the bout of COVID I had dealt with the month before my initial numbness, it lit the match and took off. There is no reversing it. There is no cure. Treatment is limited to pain medication-both oral and topical-along with lifestyle changes and self-care.
Why am I sharing my personal medical history with you? Is it to get your sympathy? Absolutely not. Do I want you to share your home remedies with me? I'm sorry, but no thank you. I firmly believe if God is going to have me walk through the struggles I'm faced with and I don't share them with you as my testimony of His work in my life, then they would be useless to me, Him, and you. I'm sharing all of this with you because I was guilty of the lifestyle I talked about before. I have two girls, a ministry, a home to maintain, a husband to tend to, family functions to attend, laundry to fold, dishes to wash, dogs to feed, dinners to cook, and bills to pay. You name it, I was either doing it or trying to do it. I found my identity in striving to become a superwoman. I filled my plate so full that there was no room for anything else. But I saw that as an opportunity to go back for seconds.
Because of my condition, I found it to be a great struggle to live that type of life. Sometimes bad days would lead to a whole week where I could only do the bare minimum. One week, my flare was in my back. The pain was so intense that I could hardly even sit, stand, or even lie down. One week, I felt like I drank kerosene straight without a chaser (though I'm not sure what that would feel like, I imagine I wasn't far off). I was weak, nauseous, and lethargic. I've dealt with several episodes of full body, flu-like pains, as well as many episodes of knee pain and weakness which limited my mobility. Again, there are people out there dealing with greater problems than I am, and my heart hurts for those people. What I'm trying to get at, though, is that I was taking the medication like I was supposed to. However, it wasn't going to work properly unless I started taking care of myself. What I needed was rest. It was time to start putting in the work and taking care of myself. However, this needed to go even deeper than self-care.
Mindfulness
Self-care is defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary website as "care for oneself (1)." Now, you can't find me on social media anymore, but back when I utilized the many platforms out there, I used to watch videos with #selfcare attached to them. Women would post videos for others to see of them doing things that made them feel good. Videos of them washing their faces, followed by the application of their favorite cream or serum. Others would post videos of them getting their nails done or reorganizing their refrigerator. These are great things, and they're things I find myself doing from time to time. But what I've discovered about self-care is that it's temporary. After a time, one will begin to lose satisfaction in these activities and will start searching elsewhere for their satisfaction. What our souls need is a genuine awareness of our state of being, our mental health, physical health, and spiritual health.
Mindfulness is defined by Oxford Languages as "conscious or aware of something (2)." Mindfulness is rooted in awareness. I prefer the concept of mindfulness to self-care and here's why: Mindfulness forces me to be present. It forces me to listen to my mind, body, and spiritual cues for me to properly know what I truly need. All of these cues tie in together to help us not only better our physical and mental health, but wholly as Christians. Let me break this down for you.
Physical Cues:
Hey you! Yeah, you. The one on the couch who has spent so much time on her phone that she's nauseous. I've been there before. I still find myself now and then scrolling through Pinterest so aimlessly that I give myself motion sickness from the screen movement. And that's exactly all I accomplished in the forty-five minutes that my bottom didn't leave the seat. Oh, besides warming said seat. It seems anymore that the cure to boredom is to scroll. Don't get me wrong. I could watch recipe videos on Pinterest all day long, but after a while, I can sense my body craving something different. Our bodies were designed to rest, yes. God rested on the seventh day, therefore practicing rest is sensible and required for our minds, our bodies, and our spirits to function properly. Just as our bodies were designed to rest, they were also designed to move. In 2 Samuel 6:14, scripture tells us that David danced before the Lord with all of his might in celebration. This was pleasing to God, and it is pleasing to God when we, too, move our bodies.
God gave us one earthly body to tend to. It is our body to listen to when it's time to work and when it's time to rest. For a very long time, I didn't listen to what my body needed but did only what I wanted. Once my health started to give me a run for my money, I decided it was time to clean up my diet (we'll talk more about this in a moment). This was a good thing! I believe that the more wholly nourishing things we can consume the better our health will be. But this wasn't the only thing. My body needed more than good food. It needed movement. I can hear it now, "Taylor, I did not come here to be told I need to work out." Bear with me for just a moment.
I was never one to want to move my body. Maybe it's because I never found an exercise that suited me (and all the ladies in the back said amen). It wasn't until this last health scare that I realized that I needed to move. So, I ordered myself a shiny, purple Huffy! My siblings found this quite comical. Biking brings me closer to nature and closer to God. It reminds me of my childhood. Not to mention it helps me feel better. I believe that's the way it's supposed to be. Call me crazy, but we can find rest in moving our bodies and utilize our movement to get closer to God. This shouldn't be stressful. It should be restful. It should make you feel good. You just have to find whatever it is you like to do. This can take a little bit of time and that's okay. Trial and error will make you aware of what your body likes and dislikes and what your body is and isn't capable of doing. We all have limits. We're all human.
Being physically mindful is not limited to rest and movement. Other physical cues can indicate when we need to eat, or even what we should eat. Take note, I said, "should." Our bodies were not designed for excessive amounts of refined sugars, sodium, caffeine, and even alcohol. No shame to those of you who do consume at least one of the items listed here. We all do it. I do it. Heck, I just recently found out two things. The first thing is that I have a dairy allergy. The second thing is that Oreo cookies (my favorite snack ever) are dairy-free! I told my husband that I truly believed God threw me a bone, or Oreo, on that one. But this is all beside the point!
What I want you to notice is that I used the term "excessive amounts." Our bodies do not need these things. They were not designed to crave these things, but now we find ourselves craving these things because we've allowed ourselves to consume them for so long. I'm not saying that by consuming them we are sinning. I'm not saying that by consuming them we are causing great injury to our bodies. I'm saying that these foods and beverages are okay in moderation. It's the excessive consumption that can and will cause harm to our bodies.
Our bodies were designed for foods that nourish us. Foods like nuts/seeds, beans, legumes, unprocessed dairy products, meats without added preservatives and hormones, whole grains, fresh eggs, fruits and vegetables (bonus points if they came from your own garden), and most importantly: water. And most Foods that are as unrefined as it gets. Now I'm not saying you can't enjoy your favorite foods within reason. Please enjoy them! I want you to enjoy them. I enjoy a couple of Oreos daily! But mindfulness in this area of our lives looks a lot like listening to what our body is craving and seeing how we can incorporate good foods (and movement) into the mix.
And lastly, I want to add a few notes to go along with the physical mindfulness we're discussing. When we're aware of what our bodies need, whether it's rest or movement, junk food or nutrition, we are better able to determine what is normal and what is not. With time, practicing physical mindfulness and getting established with a good primary care physician can help increase our awareness of how we are feeling, and if we need to have our health further assessed by a medical professional. Physical mindfulness is pleasing to God.
Mental Cues:
Just as our bodies give us cues to eat or to rest, our minds give us cues too. Our minds are a very powerful tool. But if we don't take the time to listen and assess what it needs, it can turn against us quickly. When nurtured properly, just as our bodies need nurturing, it will function the way it was intended to. The unfortunate reality is that we are currently experiencing a mental health crisis here in the U.S. Conditions such as anxiety, depression, and all other trauma-based illnesses plague our population. I truly believe in one way or another, we are afflicted by the effects of these conditions either directly or indirectly. If you don't directly deal with the effects of any of these conditions, you may know someone who does. This should matter.
I can't help but want to link this rapidly moving, all-consuming society that we live in, to this devastating reality. As we discussed earlier, we live in a constant state of evolution. The newest and next best things are being dropped before the old even begin to accumulate an ounce of age. Cars cost more than houses. The fuel to make them move costs more than a weeks-worth of groceries. We must be better than the next. We can't stop working until we get to the top. But once we get to the top, then what?
Now, don't get me wrong, it's nice to work hard and have nice things. However, I want to ask you something. Is the gain costing you your sanity? It isn't a wonder we all feel burnt out, worn out, and downright exhausted. It isn't a wonder that anxiety, depression, worry, fear, doubt, insecurity, inadequacy, and all these other burdensome feelings fill in the cracks and crevices of our minds. But just as our bodies require rest, so do our minds.
I am an advocate for mental health awareness. I have felt things deeply from a young age. As a teen, and even a young adult, I struggled greatly with my mental health. It wasn't until after we had our youngest daughter, that I was diagnosed with Bipolar Depression. Even if I could make you understand the high intensity of the mania and the dark lows of the depression, I wouldn't. It was like riding a roller coaster without a seatbelt, constantly being burdened by the threat of being thrown off. My only choice was to hang on tight. And the hardest part about it all was that I could go from manic to depressed in a matter of a day. God sent me a real trooper when He sent my husband my way because anyone else would've run as far away from me as they could.
The reality is that, to address the matter at hand regarding the state of our mental health, we must listen to our mental cues and surrender all of the other junk to God. This will take time and patience. This is where mindfulness comes into play. You see, if you take the time to slow down and get away from the crazy loud world we live in, then you will come to find that you are better able to listen in silence. You can do this at the office. Get up from your desk and take a walk outside. Sneak away to the bathroom for a moment. You can do this in the chaos of your home, where children are fighting, the dog is chewing up something and the washing machine is spinning loudly. Head to your closet. A closet. Any closet. Step out on the back porch where the birds are singing. you can do this at the grocery store. Head to the back and find a quiet aisle to simply breathe. When it comes to the health of your mind, there isn't a time or place where you can't take a moment to listen to what exactly it is your mind needs.
**I want to take a second to note that if these methods are not working for you, then it may be time to speak with a medical professional. There is no shame in this. There are Christian counselors out there who are educated in meeting your needs from a faith-based standpoint. There is no shame in seeing a psychiatric doctor. Many mental health illnesses out there stem from chemical imbalances in the brain. Medication can help this. I believe that through prayer and patience, God will put the right doctor on your path that can help you find the right medicine to suit your needs. He did it for me. Your feelings are real and your feelings are valid. Shame does not come from God but from the enemy. There is no shame in seeking help. If you don't know where to start, contact your primary health physician.
Moving forward, there are a variety of things that our minds could need. Being aware of those needs can help battle the strain that stress puts on our brains. But then there's all the other added garbage that must be dealt with. Let's handle the listening part first. As we've discussed, listening to our minds requires a quiet, more slowed-down setting. When we prioritize breaking away from the crowd for a few quiet moments, we can assess our minds' needs. Needs like rest, stimulation, and conversation can surface, and awareness can help us address them. Rest can be treated with a chapter from a good book or a Bible reading. Stimulation can be fixed with a nice bike ride with a good view. Conversation can be remedied with a quick coffee date with a friend to catch up on what's going on in your lives. The needs that our minds have are not limited to the list above, but what is required to address such needs is for us to listen.
But even though we've listened, our healing doesn't come from a coffee date or a bike ride. Our minds are more complex than that. These methods that I am discussing are ways to outsource what we're dealing with. They're ways that can help us get to the root cause of the emotions that we're feeling. At the end of the day, we need a deeper healing. One that comes from the Almighty One. It's one thing to be aware of such needs, but we all have a level of emotional baggage that we tote around with us. Here's an example: I could be on a coffee date with my good friend, and we could be talking about life, but deep down inside the war is still raging on. As I'm sipping my turmeric latte (this is my favorite coffee alternative), I can still feel those demons gnawing at my soul. I want you to take note that I said, "those," demons and not, "my," demons. The demons we're faced with do not belong to us. Why? Because we are God's chosen people. Those demons belong to the enemy. They're his way of trying to trip us up. We just tend to carry them around from time to time. Now, back to my coffee date. Despite the good company and conversation, there's still an emptiness and brokenness that is weighing heavily in the pit of my stomach long after my coffee date ends. The stress still feels all-consuming, and I know deep down that I will walk away from that lovely coffee date feeling unsatisfied and unfulfilled. Friends, it is important to be mindful of what our minds need, but with the war being waged on our minds, this is a two-step process. We must surrender our garbage (and yes, I call it garbage because that's what it is), our worry, fear, stress, doubt, insecurity, inadequacy, all of it to God.
By surrendering this to God, we must allow ourselves some time to call to mind the root of this chaos in our brains. Maybe you have a deadline coming up at work and your promotion is banking on meeting that deadline. You're fearful that you won't make the cut and you'll be stuck in your lower-paying position for the entirety of your career. I get it. Maybe you've recently lost a loved one and you've been left in charge of their estate. You want to do the right thing, but your family members keep bickering about who gets what share of the inheritance. All you want is for everyone to get along, but the arguing and loss make you feel broken and empty. I get it. Maybe you're having some serious health complications. You want to trust that God is going to heal you, but you're torn between what science says and what God says. It seems like no matter what you do the lies are screaming louder than the truth. You're beginning to believe that you'll never see your healing. I get it. Let me offer you a better way.
In my last blog post, I talked about laying our garbage at God's feet. When I say this, I want you to visualize our Lord Jesus standing before you. His welcoming arms are open wide. And I want you to picture yourself laying it all at His feet. Then, I want you to walk away. Let Him handle the rest. If you're anything like me, this part is cake. But what about when you lay it all at His feet and walk away, only to come running back to pick it up and carry it off again as you own it? Friends, we do not own that garbage. That is not our belonging. We were never meant to allow the ugly stuff to weigh our minds down. We are called not to live our lives feeling this way, but to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10). Awareness calls it all to mind. This is the crucial first step. But it takes surrender to alleviate and determination in faith to be healed. Give it all to God and keep taking it back to Him every time you go and pick it back up again.
Spiritual Cues:
Last, but most certainly not least, we have spiritual cues. These cues highlight needs to us as Christians that are just as important to our well-being as drinking water, eating healthy foods, getting plenty of rest, and moving our bodies. Though just as important as the others, I have found that they can be a bit sneaky. If we're hungry, our body sends us obvious cues to eat. Cues like hunger pains, our stomachs growling, and we might even begin to feel shaky if we go far too long without a snack. These cues are apparent to us. If our bodies need movement, maybe we've been sitting at our desk too long in the same position, we might find ourselves sore and stiff. We might even feel a burning sensation in our shoulders and necks. At some point, we'll find ourselves uncomfortable enough to get up and make a snack or walk to the restroom. Spiritual cues don't always seem so obvious at times.
Just as our bodies and our minds need nurturing, so does our faith. What we all to understand moving forward is that the nurturing of our faith goes deeper than our church attendance for the year. I will never sit here and tell you that going to church doesn't matter. It matters more than we could understand. What I'm saying is that as Christians, we have spiritual needs that constantly need tending to. Going to church is just scraping the surface. Limiting ourselves to one day of spiritual nourishment would be the equivalent of growing a plant with one day's worth of sunlight and rain. That plant would die very quickly, and if we're not aware of our spiritual needs, our faith will look very similar to said plant. But how exactly do we know what our faith needs and when it needs it? I'm glad you asked!
Upon professing our faith in the Lord, we have received a deposit of His spirit inside of us. This is none other than the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is a multitude of things to us. For example, the Spirit is our comforter, our Counselor, and our Intercessor, but the identity I want to speak on right now is the Spirit as our Guide. And if this is the first time you've ever heard this, then you're probably thinking to yourself, "Well, apparently my Guide has been off duty because I feel like I'm running this race blind!" I get it! I've thought this before, too. Believe me, you're not alone. At times, it does seem like our Guide is hidden from us. Remember, seeing does not constitute belief. But I want to promise you that it is there and fully functioning. We just need to learn how to follow it.
I like to describe the Holy Spirit as a still small voice. It's there if you're listening, but if you're not, then you're likely to miss it. This can be problematic for us as we live in such a noisy world. I went for a hearing test this past year as I had noticed I was finding it harder for me to hear. It turns out that I was suffering from a level of hearing loss. For me, it's not the super quiet noises that I find hard to hear (though they aren't always the easiest). It's the high-pitched ones, like my daughters' sweet little voices that sound like they've been laced with helium. As well as the noise clusters. More than one person speaking to me at the same time sounds like a bunch of noises mushed together. So, if two people are trying to talk to me at the same time in a normal tone, and another more quietly, I'm going to be more focused on the two normal-toned people competing for my attention than I would the quieter one. Odds are, because of the noise competition stealing my focus, I likely wouldn't hear the quiet one at all. That's what life does to us in regards to our Guide.
This applies to the world we live in. It simply never stops spinning. We have bills to pay, deadlines to meet, budget meetings to attend, college courses to finish, homes to clean, maybe even homes to renovate, cars that need repaired, health concerns that need to be addressed, money to make, things to buys, gym sessions to crush, dates to go on, and weddings to plan. I think it's safe to say that we are constantly going, constantly doing, and constantly moving. We never stop. But to achieve this spiritual mindfulness we must be aware. We must slow down. We must stop and listen. Because like me not being able to give that quiet person my full attention over the louder voices, we will not be able to hear the Spirit's quiet whispers over the commotion of this noisy world we live in. We've got to check out of the busy, the crazy, the all-consuming, and get to a quieter place where we can listen.
How do we do this? We make time. Things can wait. We can reprioritize things to fit a bit of time into our busy schedules to make this work. We must make this work. I understand that time is precious. Believe me, you do not have to plead your case to me when it comes to your schedule. I am a mother of two, a wife, a dog mom (and a bunny mom), I have a ministry to tend to, a church to attend and be active in, and we have VBS, Bible studies, homeschooling, and traveling for work. My list could go on just as long as yours. But this is important my friends. We all have obligations. We all have lives to live. This, however, is everything. To be the disciples that we were all created to be, we must nurture our faith. We must slow down and listen to the spirit because if we don't, we will allow the world to guide us and not our true Guide. That won't work for a Christian. To remain rooted, we must take time to tend to our roots.
The spirit will nudge you gently in one way or another. I joke sometimes because the Spirit inside of me is rather nagging. My husband thinks I'm nagging, but he's never met the Spirit that lives inside of me. His seems to be a little more laid back. It's likely because he's a little more go-with-the-flow than I am. I tend to require all of the who, what, when, where, why, and how that goes along with any and every situation. I'm not as bad as I once was. I think I just require a little sterner direction than most. God does it lovingly, though, and that's okay with me. But my goodness, if I'm heading in a direction that I shouldn't be, He will not let me rest. This is where slowing down and being aware come into play. If you're feeling dissatisfied with life for a season and feeling this nagging feeling in your gut to go a different direction, you must listen. Be present, be aware, and be willing to follow. It will take practice and that's okay. The concept of being mindful is being aware, yes, but also accepting that we are not perfect and that is okay. There will be times when making time to listen will be easier than others. This is okay! One should never feel shame in all of this because we are on a journey, not to perfection, but to meet the perfect one.
So, I'll wrap this one up on how this can all be applied. Do what you can to rework your schedule to find time to be present. Get to a quiet place and listen. Open up your Bible. The Spirit can and will speak to us through God's word. Download a Bible app that sends you daily scriptures. Spend some time in a journal. Journaling can help you pour out things you didn't realize were in you and thus allow the Spirit to reveal ideas that you need to know. Pray. Pray like you're having a conversation with a friend. I went to bed rather anxious last night and I greatly longed for comfort. I just felt like I needed to talk to someone. But sometimes I find myself so anxious that I can't physically choke the words out. As I laid my head on my pillow, I began praying. I prayed like I was talking to a friend. I poured my heart out to the Lord. I realized though, that my prayer wasn't enough. I was still too anxious to sleep. But I could feel the spirit speaking to me, telling me to talk to God until I fell asleep. Sometimes one needs a friend that they can talk to until they fall asleep. At that moment, I didn't have a face-to-face friend with whom I could do that. So, I talked with God. The best part about this is that you can talk to God for as long as and as late as you want. God doesn't have a bedtime! Nor does He count anything against you. He doesn't make you feel silly for the things that you feel. He understands you better than you understand yourself.
Though I was in bed trying to get some shut-eye, I was present and aware of what I needed at that moment and the Spirit revealed it to me. Willingness and openness are the keys to spiritual mindfulness. Being aware of the Spirit's gentle nudges and still small whispers will help you tend to the soil of your faith, thus causing your roots to grow.
Let's Wrap This Thing Up
"Do you not know that your bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies." -1 Corinthians 6:19-20
When we signed up for this crazy, awesome, and wonderful thing that is faith, we received the Lord's spirit inside of us. It's what sets us apart from those who do not believe. But because we are set apart, we are called to live differently. We are not called to conform to the ways of the world, but to follow the Spirit where it leads. However, when I read this scripture, I interpret it differently. Though you may not find my interpretation to be reliable and perfectly written in a credible Bible commentary, I'm going to share it with you anyway.
By the blood of Christ, you were purchased. Through the pain He endured, you were claimed. You were set apart. You belong to Him. And because of this, you must honor Him with your body, mind, and spirit. In doing this, you must be mindful and constantly tending to the body, the mind, and the Spirit He has given you. It is pleasing God when you assume the responsibility of honoring His temple that you were given. Take care of this gift.
It's good to take care of you. Read that again. It is good to take care of you. It is honoring to God to slow down and listen to what your body, mind, and faith need. It is God honoring to take care of your body and look out for your physical health. It is God honoring to take care of your mental health. It is God honoring to tend to your spiritual needs. All of these components make up the temple that resides in our inmost being. If one is spiraling out of control, the whole establishment could collapse.
I want to encourage you to take things slow. Run the race set before you. Listen to your cues. Be aware. One cannot tend to their ministry in life properly if they are trying to draw from an empty well. I want to leave you with something to think about:
"...that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all Godliness and holiness." -1 Timothy 2:2
Start listening today. This won't always be easy, but it is worth it.
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